$PI "Pi Circle Storm: Limit Up Buddha"

The last time I joined the Pi coin group, I almost went blind from that merit box. Everyone in the group is talented—
Zhang San buried his phone in a grave to absorb dragon vein computing power, Li Si sings "Good Luck Comes" to the Pi app every day, claiming it's sound wave empowerment, and Wang Er Mazi is even more outrageous, changing his avatar to Satoshi Nakamoto in red underwear, saying it's "visualization of faith."

The most incredible is the group owner, who calls himself "Pi Circle Damo," and keeps saying: "Open your perspective! You can't see the future because you're stuck inside a K-line chart!" I cautiously ask, "What if... it doesn't go up?"
Immediately, I get blasted:
"Cognitive defect!"
"Poverty mindset!"
"People like you don't deserve to own original shares!"

Yesterday, the group suddenly exploded with news that the dog of the nephew of the US SEC chairman bought Pi coins. I opened that "internal screenshot"—good grief, the jagged edges of the P picture are rougher than my home sawmill. But no one dares to question it; anyone who does is considered a "black hat sent by the whales."

An older brother mortgaged his house and went all in, posting clips from "The Wolf of Wall Street" every day with the caption: "Our ruthless move is coming." Today, it suddenly went quiet. I private messaged him, and he replied: "Delivering food now. When the bull market comes, I’ll use a delivery box to store cash."

Just now, the group owner spoke again: "Remember! When you find something absurd, a revolution is happening! The essence of blockchain is..." (Here, he omits three thousand words he himself doesn’t understand)

I quietly opened the group file containing the "Pi Coin Success Bible," and the first chapter reads: "True believers never ask when the mainnet will launch, only whether their faith is sufficient."
There’s also an appendix called "Spells Collection":
Recite in the morning: "Computing power is merit"
Recite at noon: "Holding coins is cultivation"
Recite before sleep: "A sharp decline is a blessing, sideways trading is a test"

Before leaving the group, I posted a picture—records of Newton losing all his pants after buying South Sea Company stocks.
Three seconds later, it shows:
【You have been removed from the group chat, reason: spreading negative energy】

Ah, you can never wake a person pretending to sleep, especially when he dreams of sleeping on a bed made of banknotes. Are they really trading coins? No, they’re collectively writing a "Science Fiction Fantasy Hybrid Magical Realism Epic," titled: "As Long As I Don’t Sell, I’m Not a Chives—On How to Use Faith to Fight Physical Laws."

(Kind reminder: This article does not constitute investment advice, only a mirror to reflect the true nature. If you feel offended... maybe check your account balance first?)