I really can't handle my dad anymore. He's decided not to sell the corn again. Just now, someone in our village group was offering to buy corn at 0.96 yuan per jin, asking anyone who wanted to sell to contact him. I immediately reminded my dad to sell if others were selling. But my dad said, "What's the rush? Other people's corn is still wet and has a lot of moisture, while his has long been dried, really, really dry." I told him there's no such thing as testing the moisture content for corn, and urged him to sell the corn quickly, not to worry about the price. Even if the price is high, it's only a few cents higher—what's the point? Plus, we only have less than 5,000 jin of corn at home, even though it grew well this year because of the frequent rain. Even then, it won't be more than 5,500 jin. Even if the price goes up a few cents, that's only an extra two or three hundred yuan—not much use, and it's nothing compared to the volatility of my crypto assets. Every time I trade, it's a big swing. My dad said if you don't care about the price, then why bother planting at all. I told him I never wanted him to farm in the first place; he's the one who insisted on it. No matter what, I'm going to push him to sell this corn. He can't wait until all the neighbors have sold theirs and he's still keeping his. If he stores it until the rainy season in summer, he'll have to worry about leaks again, and because of this bit of corn, I'll end up stuck in the countryside, unable to leave. On February 29 this year, when we sold last year's corn, I tried to help and got my right thumb caught in the machine—it took half a year to recover. My dad even said it was my own fault for helping out. Was I just helping for no reason? Clearly, he didn't want to sell the corn himself. There are so many things lying around the house he never tidies up—he hasn't cleaned up the collapsed house in the backyard, doesn't clear the rubble in the yard, and there's old grain that's been there for six or seven years, never sold, all gnawed by rats. I bet there are over 50 rats living in the granary, and they can't even be driven out. Other people stockpile gold, but he stockpiles grain, and the longer he keeps it, the less it's worth. If you keep new grain for a year without selling, it becomes old grain and the price drops by a whole yuan per jin. What's the point of losing money like that? I bet he won't rebuild the collapsed courtyard wall next year either. Because he insists on farming, I remember he's never had a single day off—if he's not farming, he's still farming. That wall could go 20 years without being rebuilt; by then, he'll be over 80 and won't be able to do anything.

The house is packed with plastic bags and broken electric pots he won't throw away. The whole house is stuffed, and even old shoes that can't be worn are piled up. He keeps so many unusable things around and won’t throw anything out. And he says I'm the one who doesn't tidy up. Is it me? Clearly, it's him. He thinks everything is useful. Whenever I say he's made the place look like a dump, he wants to hit me, and then I cry. Living in this family has made me depressed. If I rebel, he's still my dad. And if it gets out that a child disobeys their parents, it doesn't sound good. So I can only accept the situation.

I’ve tried to clean up the rubble in the yard, but whenever my dad sees me, he tells me to stop, says not to touch his stuff. It just shows that nothing here is really mine—only the things I buy myself. Even the household registration was paid for by him, and before I got registered, I basically had no rights. When I was bullied at school, I couldn’t fight back, because I didn’t have a household registration. If someone beat me to death, it would be my own fault. No one would be held responsible.

Anyway, that's enough for now. I'm going to eat. When I have money, I’m definitely going to move out and become independent from this family. I want to escape the countryside.