In China, what is a common trait among ordinary parents? They believe they are not ordinary and are especially eager to guide their children's life and career. They give you all kinds of advice, and if you don’t listen, it’s not acceptable—they keep calling, sending voice messages, and harassing you via video. Many people encounter this problem. You’re struggling in a big city, not doing too well but not too badly either, just getting by. When your parents see you’ve been in the city for a few years without making a big splash, they start saying: “Go back to your hometown.” So, should you go back at this point? Here’s a rule of thumb I’ll teach you. How to judge? Just see if your parents have the ability.

If your parents are capable in your hometown: living in a villa or a large apartment, driving cars worth tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands, then just go back. You’re going back to access resources—you can’t handle hardship. But if your parents are very ordinary: living in run-down neighborhoods, driving cars worth only a few thousand, your dad is out running around all day and not earning much, and your mom might be a full-time housewife.

In this case, what’s my advice? Keep your distance. Why keep your distance? Because your parents can’t provide you with anything—no resources, no opportunities, no good advice, not even emotional support. So, what’s the point of going back? What can they arrange for you? They’ve been struggling their whole lives, and at forty or fifty, they still haven’t made it.

If you listen to them, to what extent can you succeed? To be blunt: anytime you return from a big city to your hometown, you will end up living like your parents. Because your parents are the most ordinary people locally. No matter how poorly you do in the big city, at worst, you’ll be at the same level as your parents. Going back to your hometown will only accelerate reaching that state.

Of course, I’m not telling you not to love your parents or to cut ties. Instead, live separately but stay emotionally close. How should you get along with your parents? Just talk about everyday stuff: what you ate, what you drank, how your health is. Don’t discuss anything else—work details, business negotiations, clients you met, contracts you signed—don’t mention a single word. Why? Because once you do, they will immediately start guiding your life. What is the biggest flaw of ordinary parents? They don’t realize they are ordinary but are especially eager to guide their children’s lives. Parents who realize they are ordinary and can refrain from interfering in their children’s lives are no longer ordinary.