Don't casually give advice to others, even if you genuinely hope the best for them. This is not indifference, but a respect for psychological boundaries and personal development. There is a term in psychology called "helper's malice." Unsolicited advice is very easily perceived by others as an invasion. But if someone hasn't asked for your help, and you rush to give advice, they often subconsciously hear three messages: first, you're doing something wrong; second, you can't handle it yourself; third, I understand better than you, I have more experience and wisdom. Therefore, even if your intentions are kind, the other person will unconsciously interpret your good intentions as control, belittlement, or rejection. This only activates their defense mechanisms and does not foster gratitude towards you.



Moreover, many times, you think the other person lacks guidance or advice, but in reality, most people are simply not psychologically prepared. If they haven't reached a stage where they can take action, no matter how many suggestions you give, they will only ignore or deny them. When they don't follow your advice, you might feel a sense of disappointment. You may think they don't trust you, leading to feelings of grievance and exhaustion. At the same time, the other person may feel controlled or oppressed, which can ultimately damage the relationship. Truly powerful help is actually companionship, not directing or guiding. Being understood and listened to is often more helpful than being advised or guided. When a person's autonomy is respected, their self-integration ability can be activated, and they are more likely to take action.
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